Coping with the 'sandwich' years
Taking care of aging parents is tough,
and especially so when you're also juggling raising a family or managing a career.
It's easy to feel overwhelmed, stressed, conflicted, exhausted, guilty –
and any number of other emotions.
If you're acting as caregiver to your
parents, try these coping strategies.
Become an expert
A little knowledge can go a long way
in helping to manage the needs of your parents more effectively.
- Learn as much as you can about an ailing parent's health care needs, medications,
disabilities and medical conditions.
- Think ahead, so you can plan for the future and the "what ifs."
This will help you deal with sudden changes.
- Ensure that your parent's finances and legal paperwork are up-to-date.
Share the load
Don't try to do everything yourself.
Find support wherever and whenever you can.
- Enlist other family members to help. Don't wait for volunteers – ask
specific people to assist by doing a specific task. Even small actions can
be a tremendous support.
- Tap into community and government resources. This could mean getting financial
assistance to make home adaptations, arranging delivery of a hot meal each
day, or requesting caregiver help for daily tasks such as bathing, dressing
and administering medication.
Take care of yourself
You shouldn't feel guilty about taking
time out for yourself; on the contrary, you need to make time to address your
own needs more than ever.
- Spend time with important people. Book time with friends. Go on a date with
your significant other. You may not be able to be as spontaneous as you were
in the past, but finding together time is still meaningful.
- Take time out for you. From taking 20 minutes to read a book, to making
it to the gym, to booking your regular medical appointments, it's important
to take care of your own physical and mental health.
Manage your feelings
Take care of your own emotional state
in order to avoid burning out or taking out your frustrations on loved ones.
- Keep tabs on your emotions. Learn to recognize when you're becoming overly
tired, emotional or prone to frustration or sadness, so you can take preventive
action.
- Have a confidante. Whether it's a best friend, religious advisor or therapist,
it's important to have someone with whom you can be completely candid.
Most importantly, don't try to be
perfect or do everything yourself. The fact that you are there to provide support
to your parent is an enormous help.