How to cope with new parent stress
The experience of introducing a new
child into your family can be amazingly joyful — and incredibly stressful.
The emotional impact of being a new
parent and the worries about how you are doing can overwhelm even the most composed
of adults. Here are some ways to help relieve some of the stress you may be
feeling.
- Get some rest.
You may need to call in the reinforcements (relatives, friends or other social
supports) to help with this one. As hard as it is to do, getting adequate sleep
will help make new-parent stress more manageable.
- Don't try to do it
all. Who cares if the floor needs mopping or the dust is half an inch
thick? Visitors want to see the baby and you, not your house.
- Educate yourself.
Knowing why your child is crying or that those little yelps are normal helps
you relax a little and trust that you're doing OK.
- Listen to your inner
voice. You've probably already been inundated with well-intentioned
advice from everyone, including strangers. While the experience of others can
provide guidance, trust in your own judgment.
- Create a support network.
You need your support system now like you've never needed it before. Don't be
shy about asking your neighbour to pick up a few groceries, or your best friend
to babysit just so you can shower and enjoy an hour of "me" time.
It's vital to your sanity. Plus, consider calling in the help of a housekeeper,
a meal delivery service, or accept meals from visitors — anything to help
remove the pressure and free up some time.
- Put your partner in
the picture. Make sure your partner shares some of the responsibility,
whether it's taking over while you cook dinner, or doing extra chores. The best
way for a partner to learn how to look after the baby is to clear the way and
let them do it. To eliminate squabbles between the two of you, consider making
a schedule for feeding, changing and chores.
- Take some couple time.
As impossible as it seems, try to carve out a little time for you and your partner.
It's important for the health of your relationship. You may be able to take
your newborn out for coffee, restaurants or for a walk, or find a trusted friend
or close relative who can mind the baby for a few hours each week. Make the
most of short snatches of down time and small exchanges: time-shift your dinner
to after the baby is in bed, cuddle up while you watch TV, or devote an hour
every weekend to talk about non-baby-related topics.
If the stress you experience is overwhelming
or long-lasting, or if you feel depressed, you should talk to your health professional.
For most new parents, feelings of stress are a normal part of making the adjustment
to a new and exciting phase of life.